Inspired by my pal Lia posting her awesome craftiness, I decided to share some of my recent creations for the holidays.

Homemade wrapping paper:

I wrapped Jax’s birthday presents with catalog magazines. It’s not an original idea by any means, but I had fun singling out fun prints and making crazy bows. I used clear craft glue to make the pages big enough to wrap the presents in. This one was from J.Crew.

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Not your grandmother’s cross-stitch (cue electric guitar lick)! 

lialia:

I’m pretty proud of this original design, which combines my love of grandma crafts AND rap music. We’re selling them, too! (Visit www.yaydiy.com).  

For the man/woman in your life who unabashedly loves both crafts for the elderly and Jay-Z.

It works incredibly well to substitute “I hate Justin Bieber” for the lyrics to “Jungle Fever” by Steven Wonders.

In case I forget the lyrics, there’s always this:

This kids is responsible for the downfall of everything.

Dear Bladder and whatever else down there that controls my urine,

I really can’t thank you enough for holding my pee in every night while I sleep. Every morning I wake up with the insatiable urge to pee gallons. It feels as though I’ve done nothing but do the Dew all night long.  Even when I dream about peeing in the woods, like last night, you, for some reason can not allow me to wet the bed! Isn’t peeing in your sleep a telltale sign that you are peeing in real life?!? It felt SO REAL, Bladder. Thanks to you and your magical force, I continued to sleep through the dream pee. You said to me in my dream, “Child, keep sleeping! Even though you have pee on your legs now it will all be gone in the morning.” FYI, my Bladder is like one of those old, talking trees that are always a bit vague, but filled wit loads of wisdom.  Just like she said, I woke up pee-less, made it to the bathroom to take care of the accumulating Dew and realized how very luck I am to have a Bladder that will not cave under pressure. Thank you.

Love, Me

                                 
Bieber nails. I’s officially seen it all and I don’t particularly like it.

OK. I totally love the heart glitter polish, but it’s BIEBER nail polish. One of the polishes is OMB(ieber)!!! I’d rather drink the polish than wear it. I will, however, give his people credit for milking every market possible. It’s genius. I wonder if the Biebians  will take the bait. 

“This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.” Patrick Bateman, American Psycho 

Poutine from La Banquise in Montreal.

I guess since football season- which I don’t care anything about-has started one of my biggest pet peeves is more prominent than ever: the pronunciation of Brett FAVRE’s name. Everyone I’ve ever heard say it has said “FARV”. It’s as if everybody but me thinks there’s an invisible r where there shouldn’t be and they treat the one that is there as though it’s silent. Can you imagine my disdain if it were something I actually cared about?It still gets my goat though! I didn’t study French for 3 years to ignore something this gravre. I just hope that this Favre character knows the real way to pronounce his name the way his people meant to say it.

À bientôt!

This is a sad moment in television history for me. Two actors from two of my favorite shows of the 90s are making a comeback with this nonsense. I don’t even want to get into the “manny” phenomenon starting, peaking and culminating with Tony Danza. I also don’t want to get into how dumb of an actor you must be if you only play roles that happen to also be your name (I’m looking at you too, Danza). And don’t even get me started on Joey’s hairline that looks all at once airbrushed, shaded and glued on, but still maintaining the “shaved” look. That point in the front is unreal- just rock the bald look and don’t be a Bret Michaels about it. No, I don’t expect everyone to have a Gordon-Levitt success story, but this is just unacceptable.